Saturday, July 11, 2009

Side-Swiped and a Drive-Thru

About two months ago, I found out my mother was sick with a mysterious GI illness. A month ago yesterday, we learned that the mystery illness was in fact Stage IV metastatic pancreatic cancer. Six to eight months. Best case scenario.

BAM! Side-swiped by Cancer. I thought my life could cruise on auto-pilot for a while - at least for the summer - kids, garden, home, friends, food, family. Nope. Seems as though I'm in for a GROWTH OPPORTUNITY. (That's what we optimists call it when life SUCKS.)

Everyday has been different and challenging for my mother, yet she is emerging from this first shocking month courageous and spunky. We're slowly finding a rhythm as my brothers and father and I put together the puzzle pieces of caregiving.

I initially thought that caregiving would mean lots of knitting by my mother's bedside - not so bad, right? But it turns out, it's much more frenetic: running errands, organizing medications, scheduling doctor's appointments, gardening, cleaning, and cooking. Except for the hours spent in hospital waiting rooms, there hasn't been much knitting time.


Luckily, I had the best project in the world for this situation*. The Drive-Thru sweater by Wendy Bernard. This child's yoke sweater is knit in the round with worsted-weight yarn. It is seamless and quick. So quick that I knit it in less than a month - and remember, I am a slow, slow knitter. A knitter who cannot at this moment dedicate any part of her brain to charting, modifying patterns, or stitch counting. The shaping is pure Elizabeth Zimmerman so you know that it is tear-free and fun.



I used Jo Sharp Silk Road Aran Tweed. Sigh. A heavenly yarn. I chose an expensive yarn that would provide some tactile delight and luxury - my mother would sometimes just stroke it while I knit.



I started a second Drive-Thru for my other daughter, mixing the colors around. Because I'll need it for the next few weeks. And then after that, maybe one for myself ... one day at a time, one stitch at a time.

*Socks would work as well but my daughter really needed a sweater.

19 comments:

Robin said...

I am so sorry to hear of your mother's diagnosis. A diagnosis of cancer period - much less pancreatic cancer - is so scary. I had a pancreatic tumor when I was 33 with two young sons and was on pins and needles until I got the diagnosis. You and your family will be in my thoughts. Take care of yourself and don't forget to breathe!

jillian said...

I am so sad to hear your terrible news. Many years ago, my mom passed from metastatic lung cancer, also out of the blue and with little to be done. It makes one realize what a truly horrid disease cancer is. My thoughts go out to you, your mom, and your family.

lookinout said...

I'm sorry about your mother. It's a really tough time. My brother has just died from lung cancer diagnosed at Stage IV. It's no good. I send wishes for patience, strength and courage.
Gillian

Paige said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I'll be thinking about her and your family. She is lucky to have you taking good care of her.

Carol said...

Oh Ann, I am so, so sorry to hear your news. Your mom is lucky to have you and I hope you are able to make the most of the time you have together and also to help her be as comfortable as possible. Sending many hugs,

Carol (Liz's friend)

jane said...

Oh, I am so sorry to hear the sad news about your mother. Take care, you are both in my thoughts and prayers.

LaurieM said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mother. How nice that your knitting is providing comfort for her as well as you.

I hope all goes well for your family.

Bridget said...

Oh Ann, I'm sorry to hear about your mother's diagnosis, but I'm glad she is doing as well as she can be. At least you can spend some time with her that won't leave you thinking, "If only ..."

The sweater is beautiful - though the model makes all the difference, I have to say. What a pretty girl!

Remember to take care of yourself, too.

teabird said...

I am so sorry about your mother's illness. What Bridget said is exactly right - at least you're with her, and you won't have regrets about what you may have done. You are in my thoughts.

Liz K. said...

you know i am thinking of you and your mom always.

knitalot3 said...

I'm so sorry for your "growth opportunity". That really sucks. Hugs to you and your family.

Laurie (Moo!) said...

Oh, Ann. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother. I lost my Mom to bladder Cancer less than 2 months ago. Hugs to you and your family. Remember to say "I Love You" as often as you can.

anne marie in philly said...

thinking of you and your family at this difficult turn on the path of life.

and I echo what everyone else has already spoken.

Dorothy said...

Many prayers for you, your family and especially your Mother.

Kim said...

So sorry to hear the news about your mother. Great sweater - I love the colors you chose.

tiennie said...

I'm so sorry about your mother. Best wishes to your family.

Beautiful sweater on your gorgeous daughter!

keri said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that! My thoughts and hugs go out to you and your family.

Karen said...

Thinking about you and praying for your mother. Knitting can be so consoling at a time like this. Creation! Just happened upon your blog. . .

Ann said...

Your prayers, good thoughts, and kind words mean so much. Thank you all.